Managing Stress is Your Lifework

Manage Stress and Fear: Visit The Secret Garden! Whether we are working, unemployed or longing for a change our lives are full of stress. How we deal with it determines our level of health. Herein, are three key ways to help you manage your stress: Visit the Secret Garden; Stay on Your Knees: and Bach Please!

Unmanaged Stress Kills and Ruins Lives! Sit a Bit.Either we manage the stress and overwhelm in our lives or we jeopardize our health. Learn to give yourself much needed breaks, trust in the timing of things and be on your own side.

Manage Stress and Fear: Visit The Secret Garden!

Recently I completed some new workshop engagements in addition to my coaching and week-long programs. I am very grateful for the opportunity to stretch and learn but am also acutely aware of the stress I am feeling taking on this new work.

Indeed, I am feeling more stress than I care to admit to. Too often I find myself driven by feelings of “I don’t know enough, not prepared enough, don’t have enough time, don’t have the right answers to their problems…” Translation? “I am not enough; I feel inadequate, anxious, afraid; I won’t be able to do it right.” (Although, a part of me knows with certainty I’ll do just fine!)

It is interesting how we suffer the same feelings when we’re not working… "not feeling good enough, feeling a lack of the skills, knowledge, experience, answers needed to career change." Unemployed or working; money or lack thereof; a relationship or not; we must somehow come to peace with this old ghost that so regularly haunts most of us. Louise Haye, author and internationally acclaimed healer proclaims, “I am not good enough, I am not worthy” is at the core of all humanity.

Rather than continually buy into the idea that the right job, education, experience, skills, relationship, income will make us feel OK; instead, it is helpful to acknowledge the feelings under these thoughts. If we can feel and acknowledge our fear, inadequacy, unworthiness, we can begin to see all the different ways we want to run from it; all the different things we grasp at to make us feel better.

Grasping at externals to allay our fears only drives us further and faster from our truth. Herein, are a few strategies that have helped me manage my stress and inadequacies lately.

Visit the Secret Garden

I discovered life-giving cues within “The Secret Garden.” Yes, the one you read as a child by “Frances Hodgson Burnett.” Recently I reread this delightful book and highly recommend it to you. You won’t be disappointed.

Each night, I happily informed my family I was going to bed early, and slipped into to my “Secret Garden.” Pressures, anxieties, fears of the day (and future) disappeared as I pushed aside the long, sweeping ivy covering the secret door and entered that hidden haven of peace, sweet fragrance and green growing things.

Children, who had been crippled physically, mentally and emotionally by a lack of love, constant negativity, and having everything their own way, slowly but surely became healed within the secret garden. The fresh air; working in the dirt; having a place of safety and beauty; learning to love all living things; and wonderful positive camaraderie caused the children to bloom as surely as the crocuses in springtime.

Couldn’t we all do with our own “Secret Garden?” Finding, tending, minding, our own “Secret Garden” can give us solace and healing too. As they say in the “Secret Garden,” “Where we tend roses; thistles cannot grow.”

Even if we do not own a piece of dirt we can all create our own Secret Garden. How do we find the hidden key and secret door? We find the “buried” key to our garden by returning to our breath. One breath at a time we find our way into that haven of peace and safety within each of us.

Stay On Your Knees

Each breath brings us back into the present moment. Being Wholly Present is being in the Holy Presence. We can take this even further by literally getting down on our knees to pray in yet, more earnestness.

I've been praying on my knees for "grace and ease" in my life and work lately. It seems to me my earnest prayers are always answered (though perhaps not how I imagined). My anxious burdens are lifted (at least for a time!) No doubt we would be best off just staying on our knees! I am not calling for religious converts here but rather suggesting simple, life-giving practices.

Bach Please

Another wonderful technique that continues to help me alleviate stress and fear is to listen to Bach. Or Mozart. Or Vivaldi. Try any classical music that suits you.

This timeless music shifts us into a different part of our brain and can ease us emotionally as well. Put on your favorite classical music and really bring all of your awareness to listening to the notes, instruments, melodies. See if you don’t feel refreshed, lighter, more at peace.

Oh yes, and remember to trust and breathe!

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Teresa's Bio Teresa Proudlove; storyteller, coach, internationally published writer and entrepreneur helps people remember their authentic Self and gifts. Living her passion, Teresa has lead thousands of people through her “Livelihood” workshops. With wisdom and heart Teresa inspires people to create the life and work they love.

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Unmanaged Stress Kills and Ruins Lives! Sit a Bit.

When I pay attention, I clearly see the arresting ways God works in my life. Often people I meet in my programs (or elsewhere) give me such profound, relevant messages I know the hand of God is at work and it is to my peril to ignore such directives. Two such recent encounters helped release me from the bondage of undue stress.

In a recent workshop I facilitated I spoke with one woman at the day’s end who looked sorely overwhelmed. As we spoke she began listing all she had to do today; all she had accomplished yesterday; and the endless list still needing to be done.

As I gently queried this bright, enthused woman she began to see she was doing too much. What really had to be done today? After a very full, all-day workshop could she just go home and give herself some down time and trust she’d accomplish what really needed to be done in good time? My parting words to her that night were “Easy does it.”

As she left, I saw the gift she had given me. Hadn’t I just been feeling overwhelmed with new work I had taken on, plus a host of other life decisions all seeming to demand my attention NOW?

What Really Needs to be Done Today?

Like this woman, I too was doing more in one day than necessary plus, worrying about all the future tasks to be done. As Jesus admonished us in the Beatitudes “Do not borrow trouble from tomorrow...”

If you are feeling pressured, overwhelmed and stressed – it is time to stop and ask, “What really needs to be done today?” Also, “How much energy am I wasting worrying about the future?” We need to allow what we have done to be enough and to trust we have the time we need.

Unmanaged Stress Kills

Another client not long ago drove home the importance of managing stress in our lives. I approached this person one day after the program as he seemed withdrawn and resistant.

Sadly, this remarkably gifted man had lost all confidence in his talents to pursue a possible dream in design (although others remarked on the genius he’d applied to his own home). Near tears, he also revealed how he had nearly died from a chronic debilitating disease caused by extreme stress.

With chilling clarity, this man’s demise and hopelessness showed me the dangers of eroding oneself with excessive worry, stress and self-doubt (which as humans we all slip into from time to time.) Loudly, this message spoke to me of the importance of managing stress, giving ourselves much needed breaks, trusting in the timing of things, and being on our own side.

Pressuring ourselves to do more or worrying about what must be done does not alleviate the underlying feelings of inadequacy and fear. Rather than pushing ourselves to do more or allowing negative self-talk to erode us can we instead sit a bit with ourselves?

Sit a Bit

This can be a challenge because often it is exactly these scary feelings and thoughts we are trying to escape! Try sitting and breathing and accepting this wholly human condition. Let us give our precious selves some kindness and compassion when these driven, crazy-making moments arise.

Breathing… Letting go… Trusting in a perfect timing…

As we sit with ourselves we need to do so without expectations. We don’t have to get it right or achieve some special state. We simply practice kindness toward ourselves and acknowledge our uncomfortable or painful feelings.

Herein, old habits begin to dissolve of their own accord. Also, from this place we can more clearly make decision about what our true priorities are and put first things first.

In an interview with Mahatma Ghandi; Ghandi said he meditated two hours each day. The interviewer asked, “What do you do when you are too busy to meditate?” Gandhi replied, “Mediate four hours a day.” Clearly, taking the time to sit with ourselves is a priority especially when we are far too busy or stressed to do so!

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If you would like to reprint any of these articles or parts thereof, please do so. We simply request that you state the article title; credit the author, Teresa Proudlove; include her brief bio and attach a hot-link to www.yourlifework.com.

Teresa's Bio Teresa Proudlove; storyteller, coach, internationally published writer and entrepreneur helps people remember their authentic Self and gifts. Living her passion, Teresa has lead thousands of people through her “Livelihood” workshops. With wisdom and heart Teresa inspires people to create the life and work they love.

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